semen/insemination
the 55/hp kitchen was an interesting place to be around 5 pm yesterday. Emily and Grace came back from the co-op and were putting their groceries away, and they and Michelle got to talking on the topic of breeding horses. I think it was because they had heard breeding retired racehorses and selling their children was a good investment.
the ensuing dialogue ... (prepare yourselves)
Grace: oh, yeah, you can make tons of money. The more races your horse wins, the more the babies are worth, you know?
Michelle: that means that the horse who wins the most races gets to have lotsa sex!
[Emily and Grace laugh hysterically]
Emily: yeah, could you tell it that as an incentive?
[Michelle still laughing]
Grace: but wait, are you sure they don't just artificially inseminate them?
Emily: omg, that's horrible. you mean they don't even let the horses have sex?
* * *
Grace: well, see, how could they make them have sex, you know? It's a better guarantee to artificially inseminate.
Emily: how do you artificially inseminate a horse anyway? do you do surgery?
Grace: ... no, you just jack the horse off and then, you know ...
[Michelle and Emily are laughing hysterically]
Michelle: EW!
Emily: ugh, oh for the love of God. are you serious?
Grace: yah, you just ... you know, go in the stall and [gestures]
Emily: awwwgh, oh the humanity!
Michelle: Grace, that's Disgusting
Grace: yeah, well, I mean, we should ask Annie. Annie would know. you know, it's like what they do with pandas when one of them doesn't want to mate.
[Michelle laughing]
Grace: you know, like that one panda who didn't like the other panda and they just go in and jack 'em off and then artificially inseminate
* * *
[Alex comes home]
Alex: hang on, what's going on here?
Emily: well, we're talking about how you artificially inseminate horses.
Grace: you have to jack 'em off, right? you know?
Alex: oh my God. Ok, I think I've had enough of this.
... so ... how DO you breed race horses?
the ensuing dialogue ... (prepare yourselves)
Grace: oh, yeah, you can make tons of money. The more races your horse wins, the more the babies are worth, you know?
Michelle: that means that the horse who wins the most races gets to have lotsa sex!
[Emily and Grace laugh hysterically]
Emily: yeah, could you tell it that as an incentive?
[Michelle still laughing]
Grace: but wait, are you sure they don't just artificially inseminate them?
Emily: omg, that's horrible. you mean they don't even let the horses have sex?
* * *
Grace: well, see, how could they make them have sex, you know? It's a better guarantee to artificially inseminate.
Emily: how do you artificially inseminate a horse anyway? do you do surgery?
Grace: ... no, you just jack the horse off and then, you know ...
[Michelle and Emily are laughing hysterically]
Michelle: EW!
Emily: ugh, oh for the love of God. are you serious?
Grace: yah, you just ... you know, go in the stall and [gestures]
Emily: awwwgh, oh the humanity!
Michelle: Grace, that's Disgusting
Grace: yeah, well, I mean, we should ask Annie. Annie would know. you know, it's like what they do with pandas when one of them doesn't want to mate.
[Michelle laughing]
Grace: you know, like that one panda who didn't like the other panda and they just go in and jack 'em off and then artificially inseminate
* * *
[Alex comes home]
Alex: hang on, what's going on here?
Emily: well, we're talking about how you artificially inseminate horses.
Grace: you have to jack 'em off, right? you know?
Alex: oh my God. Ok, I think I've had enough of this.
... so ... how DO you breed race horses?
posted by Unmotivated Slackers at 5:19 PM
2 Comments:
According to wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Horse_breeding
It seems like there is "live cover" where they basically stick the mare and the stallion together and let them have sex. Or there is artificial insemination. It seems like there's also surrogate mares, so basically breeding horses seems to be a lot like breeding people. The only difference is that when people breed horses they're actually quite careful about breeding two horses who will produce a foal with good traits. Unfortunately, humans do not do the same.
I don't think I said it like that.
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