Another note

I realized tonight that our blog logs in Pacific Standard Time....solid

WOOOOOWW!!!!!

To quote a previous email conversation:

"SHUT UP YOU RETARD, I HOPE YOU GET A BIG F ON YOUR PAPER TOMORROW.
F as in FAILURE because you FAIL AT LIFE IN EVERY WAY IT IS POSSIBLE TO FAIL."

WOOOOWW!!!!!! You will never guess who sent that in an email to me tonight. WOOOOOWW!!!!!!!!!!!

lol, jk, whatevers

vacation

I think my brain has gone on vacay ....

finals? Enh.

In exactly 13.3 hours

I am done with college....wow

Merry Habermas

Alex: anyways, you gonna come watch house and drink?
Elaine: yeah, I'm coming
Elaine: be right over
Alex: kk
Elaine: I want to be there when Emily gets back
Alex: why?
Elaine: need to ask her about Habermas
Alex: habermas? *confused look*
Alex: *thinking*
Alex: new kind of christmas?

2 Interesting Aspects of the Day

1. Thought i wouldn't get tix for graduation, so I went on the class of 2006 website to realize that they extended registration (i was like, score!). Then i went to go bid on tix and accidentally chose 0 and registered for my tickets. I need to go over to the CPO today.

2. I rented my apartment in SF this morning. I am living between 2 hills. When i saw the rent number I was like "wow, that's cheaper than i expected." The man then explained to me that the apartment's previous resident was an old woman who also was a raving alcoholic, fucked the apartment pretty thoroughly (they need to completely renovate it before I can move in and that'll take 5 weeks). It's cheap b/c they had to dig her corpse out of there one day, permanently tainting for some people. I was like 'score! i'm getting a roommate - her alcoholic angry ghost.' My next door neighbors are a gay couple, who apparently are super nice. Josh will probably have lots of jokes about that one for me. Either I'll have a roommate who I could easily have a drink with late at night, or I'm gonna need a proton pack.

Point blank

...was the name of the movie

Can't wait till you guys overreact to this one!

Diana: Once you're married, you don't need to look cute anymore! So the moral of the story is, get married.
Megan: Ooooooooooh I gotta hurry up, all this cuteness is gonna run out.
Diana: Yeah I see all these cute people in class and just think.... .... yeah they look cute.

Wow

So i went out to see a movie tonight and it was an amazing piece of cinema.

The movie was about this dude who robbed a bank and Alcatraz or something(yay sf), and then his accomplices left him for dead to steal his share of the plunder. However, the dude survives and comes back to kill them in extremely disturbing ways (and ultimately get he gets his plunder back).

[I believe this is the movie that Kill Bill is quasi-based on]

Every time the main character performed some profound action (like kill a bad guy or make love to one of the 1000 california blond women in the movie), they would replay the previous instances of that same act.

For example, there were five main villains in the movie, and every time he killed one of them they would cut to a sequence of scenes where he killed all the other villains, and then the scene where one of the villains tried to kill him originally. Caused perception to converge and with rapid fire pace.

One of the scenes was slightly more disturbing - it was of "main character" making out with his wife (who he later kills b/c she turns out to be a doper and a cheat), then every time he rolls around she is morphed into her sister(who later is used to seduce a villain and ends up with the main character). Then he is replaced by the villain, and then the main character's wife is depicted "having relations" with the main villian (who she ran away with) and then finally a scene of the villains seducing each other. The director did it in such a way that the characters morphed as the two people rolled around in bed during sex. CREEPIEST thing in the world (especially when the next scene depicts him killing his wife while she is fucking the main villain).

The scene that was the mind-fuckiest is the one where he is looking into the eyes of his wife's sister in bed and he sees in her right eye a scene of his wife fucking him and in the left eye a scene of his archnemesis fucking his wife.

Boy is it scary when you repeat an incident in your mind. Especially if its while doing something you know you'll regret (like alcohol, drugs, prostitution, etc). Makes me want to take the old hard drive in for a reformatting. I seriously might do that if i could (redo life).

I'm curious - how many of you would restart everything at an age you pick? I'm big on the "let's change the present by changing the past" as well as fixing and re-fixing past mistakes. What do you think? would you guys redo your life if a genie popped out and was like "just pick a date and we'll flip back?

-T

M: Ooooooooh we're gonna sell groundhogs. On the internet.
E: What?!
M: Yeah, it's gonna be groundhogsforsale.com.
E: Are you gonna breed them too?
M: Yes. There will be both groundhog sex and groundhog artificial insemination.
E: haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
M: Let me check the availability of the domain name... see, we are "dot com" because we are FOR PROFIT!
(fiddles w/ computer, while falling on floor laughing)
M: Yes! available! ....only $35 for one year!
A: That's worth it, I'm sure it will get a lot of hits just for being stupid.
M: I don't know how to program this shit though.
...
A: So now you have to jack off the groundhogs too?

"I bet there is a condom market for young people. Because most condoms are geared towards old people." -G

G: I don't need to make sense.
M: Yeah, making sense is for LOSERS.
G: Well I don' t think I need to make sense because it's something different about me because I'm Republican and anal-retentive.
E: You don't make sense because you're Republican?

75 things to do when you have no future- uncensored

so this is a list I discovered taped to my wall today. Michelle, Tony, Grace, and I co-authored this over the summer. I apologize for the political/legal incorrectness of one or two of them- this isn't serious, so if someone finds this blog on the internet: we don't need to be prosecuted.

THINGS TO DO WHEN YOU HAVE NO FUTURE
1. go on a date
2. have sex
3. complain
4. get inebriated
5. staple something to your head
6. drunk-dial someone you love that hates you
7. make special brownies w/ extra vegetables
8. foment drama
9. apply to grad. school
10. become Spiderman
11. touch "your" potato
12. come out of the closet
13. plot how to take over the world
14. make a list of 111 things you like about boys
15. arts & crafts involving parts of your body
16. write a book
17. finish my novel
18. create fake yahoo e-mail, proceed to step 8
19. study for standardized tests you will never take
20. put pencils in ears, proceed to step 21.
21. act insane
22. learn a dead language
23. try a new drug
24. make napalm
25. write horoscopes
26. start Cult of the Supreme Being II
27. play with a cardboard box
28. make lists of things to do
29. COMPUTER GAMES
30. write #29
31. law school bar night
32. sell groundhogs
33. commit felonies
34. become a terrorist
35. watch Jeff Foxworthy and don't laugh
36. prostitution
37. sue people
38. get sued
39. call your mom
40. ask for money
41. make fake IDs
42. feel like God
43. sleep
44. start a revolution
45. chew on things
46. eat play-doh (Plato)
47. start a band and sell CDs
48. expand your horizons
49. travel
50. join the army
51. start a restaurant chain
52. commit fraud (especially intellectual fraud)
53. sell fake things
54. scav hunt
55. marry for money; divorce for even more money
56. put one foot in the grave
57. smoke
58. start a cartoon
59. get a BA in MATH
60. lighten up
61. set off fireworks
62. clean stuff
63. call ghostbusters
64. learn magic
65. make a startup (Doogle)
66. kill Zuckerberg
67. have an Asian fetish
68. crack
69. name your children
70. do community service
71. talk to homeless people
72. purchase children
73. sell eggs
74. name stars
75. smile

(notes: 11- potato refers to the male reproductive organ, the "your" in quotes means you could touch your partner's and call it "yours" like the person is "your [insert name here]. 26- this refers to the cult Maximilien Robespierre started during the terror. He, the creator, was naturally also the "supreme being." 32- I have no idea where that come from. 52- I don't know what "intellectual fraud" is 65- Doogle is the name of a proposed internet startup, courtesy of Mr. Serritella. 68- refers to the drug, not the mental breakdown, although I suppose it kinda means both. 73- eggs belonging to humans, not to chickens. )

enjoy

Fun Puzzle Game

http://www.addictinggames.com/cubrius.html

The best link my mom has ever sent me

http://www.richsalter.btinternet.co.uk/cks1/index.html

Enjoy

Stephen Colbert Fucks Bush and the News Media Up the Ass

http://thankyoustephencolbert.org/wordpress/archives/3

The Psychosis BA and BA Psychosis

guys-

you know you have gotten too far into a paper when you turn it in and 2 days after it's due you send a proofread copy of your paper to a prof. and a grad. student.

I should really post the e-mail that I sent- I will if I get an amusing response(s)

omg

Emily

Well, it's not a jar, but it's close enough, right?

Happy BA completion/midterms week everyone. Here's a present for you. It is a quiz that will attempt to magically tell you who you are. Have fun procrastinating.

http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=18278427878175717397