AWESOME

-T

4 am AIM fun

ODMEEAGTAH: you know, I think sex would be better than trying to be tony, but hey

i am not sane, welcome to tonyland

It's like a salvadore dali painting in dewey house right now....everything's fucking melting

So i'm still working on the godforsaken fucking paper right now, and instead of actually trying to finish by a reasonable hour i decided to fuck around updating my stupid facebook profile and writing in this blog for like an hour

im still convinced that most of the experiences i have are completely hallucinated...including me typing right now

josh, to quote adrian balboa in rocky II after she got out of her coma, "win" [said in the imperative] - i think im going back to my house right now or sometime today to seclude myself for the final countdown, otherwise i'd vote by absentee/show up...got any hanging chads? just tell them you're eric schmitt and you'll bookake everyone in the room if they don't vote for you

[washing down last modafinil pill]

gulp

oh right, class... ha

-Truckasaurus

Emily Cornell wrote this

Hi guys

So tony nad I went to Valois at 6:30 AM this morning, nd we laughed hysterically the entire time we were walking there. We also went to the point and witnessed a flock of shiny green parakeets (the hp parrots)- sorry- I am really sleep-deprived and attempting to not delete my typos so that you guys can see what I'm doing.

AAAAAAAANYWAY.

I'm going insane and I think I'm going to post sections of my BA on the blog for you guys to like shred. it is sooooooo bad ... and my alarm clock died, too. life sucks.

grace is sitting behind me and says that she threw out 50 lbs of crap in her room today. YAY!

this rivals the tony I-hate-BA facebook group- I have a feeling tony is still recovering from his meeting with Grace Tsiang this morning.

CRAP CRPA CARP VCRAP CARP CRAP CRAP CAWP
(the typis are not intentional)

you ugys are not to share this post with ANYONE- and I am not drunk or under the influence of any drugs, although I would really like to be, hehehehe.

~eeeeeemily

Mutual Encouragement

nailpolishmonkey (9:38:22 PM): make me do work!

Sanibak (9:38:44 PM): WORK!

Sanibak (9:38:47 PM): now make me do work

nailpolishmonkey (9:39:29 PM): WSORK@

nailpolishmonkey (9:39:33 PM): (ooops)

nailpolishmonkey (9:39:40 PM): (typing no work so good)

Sooooooooo guys, who else is going drinking between classes today?!

Since y'alls skipped Senior Stoner Day, maybe you wimps need to work your way up...
Or the Great Senior Smoke-Up, whatever it's called.

semen/insemination

the 55/hp kitchen was an interesting place to be around 5 pm yesterday. Emily and Grace came back from the co-op and were putting their groceries away, and they and Michelle got to talking on the topic of breeding horses. I think it was because they had heard breeding retired racehorses and selling their children was a good investment.

the ensuing dialogue ... (prepare yourselves)

Grace: oh, yeah, you can make tons of money. The more races your horse wins, the more the babies are worth, you know?
Michelle: that means that the horse who wins the most races gets to have lotsa sex!
[Emily and Grace laugh hysterically]
Emily: yeah, could you tell it that as an incentive?
[Michelle still laughing]
Grace: but wait, are you sure they don't just artificially inseminate them?
Emily: omg, that's horrible. you mean they don't even let the horses have sex?

* * *

Grace: well, see, how could they make them have sex, you know? It's a better guarantee to artificially inseminate.
Emily: how do you artificially inseminate a horse anyway? do you do surgery?
Grace: ... no, you just jack the horse off and then, you know ...
[Michelle and Emily are laughing hysterically]
Michelle: EW!
Emily: ugh, oh for the love of God. are you serious?
Grace: yah, you just ... you know, go in the stall and [gestures]
Emily: awwwgh, oh the humanity!
Michelle: Grace, that's Disgusting
Grace: yeah, well, I mean, we should ask Annie. Annie would know. you know, it's like what they do with pandas when one of them doesn't want to mate.
[Michelle laughing]
Grace: you know, like that one panda who didn't like the other panda and they just go in and jack 'em off and then artificially inseminate

* * *
[Alex comes home]
Alex: hang on, what's going on here?
Emily: well, we're talking about how you artificially inseminate horses.
Grace: you have to jack 'em off, right? you know?
Alex: oh my God. Ok, I think I've had enough of this.

... so ... how DO you breed race horses?

Falsehoods

I can say with confidence that the only thing I've written on this blog so far is the comment to the agent smith quote ------JOSH!

That site is "overload"

Quite possibly the best site ever.

www.cuteoverload.com

-- Annie

I'm on aim and the 2 men who signed the masturbation post on e/o's behalf are arguing with me about who wrote what.

this is the collectively-voiced blog

So hey guys-

I love how you completely can't tell who wrote all these posts. See- it doesn't actually make any difference. I'm currently writing my paper on Mill while freaking over my regressions and consuming Taurine to the max, but last night I was playing hexic for 6 hours. Tomorrow I'm going to buy a box of cupcake mix and smoke crack crack crack!

For real, I am talking to Grace about this Bible story, still. If you can't tell who wrote this post, you are a. silly and b. maybe reading this goddamned book has confused me to the point that I don't know the difference between my voice and my roommates' either ...

yours,

Agent Smith

Ok people. Be honest...

how often do you masturbate instead of doing your work?
-Anthony 'I Touch Myself' Serritella

Welcome, slackers. Remember, this is 300000000 times more productive than hexic.